The great vast network connects
and divides us - time stretches us thin;
we give years to the knowing,
the unravelling of others -
in the end, when change comes,
we know nothing.
We learned nothing yesterday
that we remember today
but for the sense of
once upon a time, when we began.
An Elegy to Peter Lapsley, a Stranger, and Chaitan Maniar, a Friend
For years I had been wanting to write an
article for the Patient Journey section of the BMJ - the British Medical
Journal. Finally, I wrote to the editor, a Peter Lapsley, and explained my
desire to create awareness about a condition that still befuddles doctors and
patients alike. Peter was lovely in his email and promised he would consider my
piece even though a long list of articles were waiting to be published. Only
one other patient had written a lupus journey, so I started to write mine.
Then I began my MA and the article slipped out
of my mind.
A few weeks ago I recalled it. MA done, I
remembered Peter and although I was deathly embarrassed about the time that had
passed, I crossed my fingers and sent the article to him.
No reply.
And then, finally, a rather chilly one line message from
anonymous, saying Peter had died last year and could I contact the current
editor of the BMJ instead.
Dead. Just like that. Time passes. And you miss
a person's life altogether.
So I googled Peter, just to see. Just to say
hello to his ghostly internet spirit. And here he is. Doesn't he look nice?
And I find myself wishing he had told me. It would have made me send my article pronto. It would have given me that
special fellow feeling we lonely lupus patients need. But of course, he was a professional medical editor. Did he want to, though? Was he tempted?
Isn't it funny how we know death is ever present,
can claim us at any time, and still we don't act. We truly live, believing life
is endless, forever, a patient river we can swim in at our discretion. Are we the most
arrogant of species, or simply the most hopeful?
Death claimed my father's oldest and best schoolfriend a few days ago. A prominent lawyer in Bombay, Chaitan Maniar was something of a Shakespearean hero. Noble in the true sense of the word. He was a literary giant too, in a nonchalant way - a man who could quote poetry and philosophy and the law as easily as he breathed and walked. I am trying not to grieve for him, because I was his friend too, and true friends leave nothing undone. This picture is from the last time he visited, two months ago, kissed by evening light, with his best friend's son and granddaughter…
6 comments:
'...are we the most arrogant of people or the most hopeful'?
surely, i believe, both.
once again, gracias for your attention to this very lonely desease.
Poignant, the poem and the blog. Full of wisdom too.
Oh Shaista, such a sad story, and I, too, wish the editor had confided in you that he knew all too well the journey you are making. And then your father's best friend. I am so happy to know he visited you all so recently...........that must bring comfort. Life holds so many losses, marks so many passings...and so many connections........it is a journey rich with joy and pain. But such a trip!
What a wonderful poem, tinged with such sadness. This is a touching way to bring lupus to the attention to the wider world. I know someone who has it and she struggles, but battles on. Wishing you well.
Your poem has great wisdom,
and your elergy is truly moving. He must have been a great man ~ Eddie
Balance your spiritual energy and get in harmony with your soul by practicing these Radha-Krishna meditations.
Sri Gita Govinda
-A book written in the 12th century, this is a description of the intimate loving affairs of Radha and Krishna
http://www.mediafire.com/view/keqr4lqp7wr1rru/Sri_Gita_Govinda.pdf
Govinda Lilamrta
-An 400 year old book which poetically describes the eternal daily pastimes of Radha and Krishna
http://www.mediafire.com/view/uhcuigauc6uqiei/Govinda_Lilamrita.pdf
Ananda Vrindavan Campu
-This is probably the most poetic and intimate portrayal of Sri Krsna’s life in Vrndavana that has ever been written.
http://www.mediafire.com/view/k9j3ldwbt17be3b/Ananda_Vmdavana_Campu.pdf
Prayers of Service to Radha and Krishna (Sankalpa Kalpadruma)
http://www.mediafire.com/view/lvkqsro3sbzm249/Visvanath_Cakravarti_Thakur_Sankalpa_Kalpadruma.pdf
Prema Samputa The Treasure Chest of Love
http://www.mediafire.com/view/mpbncdyt97nw0x7/Prema_Samputa_The_Treasure_Chest_of_Love.pdf
And the following four are taken from Visvanath Cakravarti's Camatkara Candrika, a 300 year old scripture that talks about the love meeting of Radha and Krishna:
The Meeting in the Box
http://www.mediafire.com/view/c81a7cp43n5v6aj/The_Meeting_in_the_Box.pdf
The Meeting of Sri Krishna Disguised as a Female Doctor
http://www.mediafire.com/view/hgomrnem7829pda/The_Meeting_of_Sri_Krsna_Disguised_as_a_Female_Doctor.pdf
The Meeting of Sri Krishna Disguised as a Female Singer
http://www.mediafire.com/view/gyuboduhn8dvdml/The_Meeting_of_Sri_Krsna_Disguised_as_a_Female_Singer.pdf
The Meeting of Sri Krishna Disguised as Abhimanyu
http://www.mediafire.com/view/911h9qoxn4ca027/The_Meeting_of_Sri_Krsna_Disguised_As_Abhimanyu.pdf
And lastly, we have a very amazing scripture which describes the 24 hour daily loving affairs of Radha and Krishna in Vrindavan, called Bhavanasara Sangraha. This book is now available on Amazon for Kindle, for only $3.49
http://www.amazon.com/Bhavanasara-Sangraha-Mahanidhi-Swami-ebook/dp/B00CW9H4DI/ref=la_B00J2M5LAQ_1_15?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1402209195&sr=1-15
Here is a 41 page sample of Bhavanasara Sangraha:
http://www.mediafire.com/view/t4gsse2d4sw0f8p/Sample_of_Bhavanasara_Sangraha.pdf
The above book can also be read on your PC using Amazon Kindle for PC, download here for free:
http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=kcp_pc_mkt_lnd?docId=1000426311
Disclaimer: We are not affiliated with ISKCON in any way whatsoever. ISKCON, or "The Hare Krishna Movement" as it's popularily known, is a radical and extremist distortion of the original Radha and Krishna dharma from ancient India. The author of the above book Bhavanasara Sangraha is no longer affiliated with ISKCON either, having cut all ties to ISKCON a few years ago.
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