THE YEAR OF YES

I originally wrote this poem in response to turning down the opportunity to join my mother and her darling friend Victoria for a walk. I was tired. Maybe I’d recently had Rituximab. I sat in the doorway instead, waving off my friends. And soon found myself writing a poem about how I regretted saying no! These days, Victoria is the one unable to go for long walks among crunchy leaves, and the inevitable bump into a friendly soul for a catch up. Village life occurs in the entwined casual conversations that spring up on summer or autumn walks…and hospital life puts an end to those. It is a winter of sorts, a wintering of a life well lived.

                               I wish I had said Yes!

                                          beloved,

                      When you asked me out to walk

among the leaves,

the turning leaves, 

You were offering me

the sound of dreams,

And I turned you down, politely.

Not today, I smiled.

Perhaps, maybe, tomorrow?

But I wish I had said Yes!

beloved,

I wish we had shared this light.

Next time, don't ask.

Just take me!

Order me to dress!

I am going to need your help,

beloved,

To begin the Year of Yes.