If I were to marry
it would surely
be April in England;
The birds would sing sweetly
all morning and
evening
The sun would shine brightly
but ever so gently
My feet would step lightly
on a carpet of daisies..
White as the blossom
pure as the dove,
My heart full and golden,
with love.
Dear Readers,
I know this is an April poem when May is here full of French and English lilac, bluebells, magnolia, and brave robins who chop and eat their worms mere feet away from us. But this is a love poem too, and love, the dream of love, is timeless is it not?
Someone, left me a gift in my room some days ago - and I still don't know who. A mystery! An admirer! My mother, ever practical and damping my ardour, thinks someone has forgotten it in my room, left it behind by mistake - mothers are never very flattering are they?!
I have asked all the nurses, but it is all very mysterious and interesting.
Since I last wrote, I have had a blood transfusion - 2 units of lovely dark vampirish blood, after which I felt all dreamy and peaceful. I knew I needed it a week before they gave it to me, but doctors like to wait until you really need it. The feeding tube in my nose has been removed, the catheter from my jugular has been whipped out, and my biopsy is less painful. Yesterday they started a new immuno-suppressant called Tacrolimus, because the disease is as yet uncontrolled and trying to creep back like ivy - sneaky, still fighting, but with none of the old rage and violence. Grrrr.... who has the teeth now?!!
So. The best part. They sent me home! Only weekend leave - but still... And it is all sun and wind and flowers and birds and my parents smiling and relaxed, and myself sleeping cosily in my mother's bed, while she sleeps in father's bed and he has been relocated to the floor of my bedroom :)
I think about nothing in particular. I rest on the garden floor and sing to the colours around me. I kiss petals and avoid the bees, I let the sky examine me, and eat! They stopped my cancer drug Methotrexate and suddenly I am in love with food for the first time! "Fish and chips with tartare sauce and tomato slices," I order, bossily. And lo, it arrives (well, mother makes and brings it...) - And. I. Eat!!
Image: Plum Blossom Birds, Meiji Period, 19th century, Namikawa Sosuke
Saturday 2 May 2009
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