Wednesday, 7 November 2012

THE MECHANICS OF SEEING

So there's this tube, right? An aqueous shunt device which bypasses the trabecular meshwork and redirects the aqueous humor into an outlet chamber or bleb. Or you could just have a picture...

Doesn't it look a bit like a spaceship probe nosing around innocent, minding-its-own-business Earth?? The arrow up in the right hand corner is where the scar tissue or fibrosis was removed and I felt so much better right away because my eye pressure dropped from highs of 34mmHg to a neat and precise 7mmHg... So not only did I get this lovely sci-fi drawing from the surgeon but he also recommended a cool spaceshippy ward for me... how old does he think I am?!! 
But it made Mum smile as she waited...
I posted this picture on facebook to Mum's complete shock: "How can you post such a picture? You look HORRIBLE!!" Er... right, thanks Ma! Thank you all for saying the opposite when you saw it! Either way, I emerged brighter several hours later... touching my lucky stars with gratitude.
While I was gowning up, and tugging on the evil pre-op stockings that nearly cut off all circulation, I was visited by various members of the ward staff - Ray and Grace - who remembered me from seven years ago when I originally had the sight saving Molteno tube implanted. (I could send you a video link to the mechanics of that particular glaucoma operation... it would make your toes curl in terror... but I love you, so I won't). I was in complete hell that year and for a long time afterwards. Father had just lost his sight and it looked as though I might too. It was the darkest, most terrifying year of my life. So little wonder then that Ray and Grace weren't entirely sure it was me. How am I different, I asked? Their answer: "You are cheerful now! So, so cheerful now. Your head was bent this low last time." They demonstrated my drooping head... there wasn't time to explain to my old friends about this blog and new friends and Rituximab and a rose garden of twitter love being sent in abundance every time I suffer...
My eye is a bloody quivering thing today so I shall disappear from internet activity for a while - I just wanted to say THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU for your incredible support, for never letting me walk into these moments alone and, finally, wasn't it just great waking up to four more years of this wonderful couple representing our human race in one corner of the globe?

14 comments:

Nina said...

Hi Shaista

I know I hardly ever comment, but I just wanted to let you know that I read your blog and follow your facebook and am so very impressed by how positively you handle everything that life throws at you. And I love reading your words, even if they describe things that go way over my head - like the eye bleb etc.

Thinking of you lots. Let me know when you're better and let's please meet soon! I can come up to Cambridge, no problem. I hope you'll still want to even though I gave up smoking long ago and we won't be having that sneaky cigarette on Leicester Square.

Lots of love

Nina xx

The Wanderers' Daughter said...

I missed this entire thing, but may I belatedly wish you fast healing and a much more comfortable eye? Sending you strong vibes. How can you help but stay cheerful in a room full of spaceships ;)

Sherry Blue Sky said...

Shaista, I didnt know that your father had lost his sight. It makes your family's radiance just that much more admirable - truly, you have mastered Shining Light No Matter What, and our world is much the brighter for it. Yes, rest that eye! And YES! my hope is rekindled with the Obama win. I'll tell you, I was very worried, and now I can breathe again.

Gwen Hollingsworth said...

Shaista, you are an inspiration. I am overwhelmed at your resilience and your endless sunny outlook. Thank you for sharing your story. Love and sparkles, Gwen xxx

Steven Cain said...

What a wonderful room to wake up in.

Best in your recovery Shaista... as always, your sight amazes me.

Ruth said...

Love love love

Jeanne-ming Brantingham said...

I think you look like sleeping beauty! What a doll!!!!
Just got home from road trip....missing you too darling.
Save your eyes!

ming

nene said...

You tug my strings of life knowing that somewhere inside me I have part of your human resilience and that someday we will both lQQk upon and view this world we live in as a stepping stone to the riches we will inherit.

You are an inspiration in spite of you only wanting to be yourself.

My best heartfelt thoughts I send to you, mi amiga

RNSANE said...

Dearest Shaista,
You always have a positive and wonderful attitude and you are beautiful, even in a hospital bed.
You are an inspiration to all of us, you know.
I am headed home from Jaipur after my lovely five month stay. Will reach San Francisco on the 16th. I'm quite sad to leave India but it will be nice to spend the holidays with friends and family. I must remain home till after the arrival of my first grandchild in late April but I hope to be back in India in May. I have a sweetheart here...ridiculous, really, as he is 29 years younger than me...someone I've known 14 years, from my Royal Caribbean cruising days! He divulged to me, when he came to see me in Mumbai ( he doesn't even live in either of the states I've lived in here ) that he's had a ten year crush on me ). Regardless, he is a wonderful man and, though we see each other only about every ten days, every moment is precious.

lupie said...

Speedy recovery! You are one tough cookie! :)

Nose_in_a_book said...

Glad to hear the op went well and I hope you're recovering quickly. May you stay cheerful! x

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